Update since surgery, 6/23-27

Hello everyone,

Friday, June 23rd: This morning I had a 7am meeting with the neurosurgeon regarding the surgery for the rods in Tina’s neck. My friend Mark Piatelli (he directed my play Shadows) was kind enough to get up at the butt crack of dawn to drive me. Guy Mitchell’s cousin, Lynn, who works at Kaiser was also there for the meeting.

The night before I spoke with a neighbor, Paula who is a State Compensation medical case worker and she gave me a good list of questions and also Nolan Cordell, an old baseball buddy, who is a doctor. Nolan gave me a lot of insight. He said that since my sister cannot move her arms nor her legs and she needs to be lifted or moved, her head could move the wrong way and then she’d have a worse problem like a spinal cord injury. When I mentioned to Nolan that this decision would affect Tina’s life forever due to the fact that she would not be able to drive, he said, driving is not that important right now.

Friday morning, the neurosurgeon (the chief of neurosurgery) walked into the room in his bright yellow turban (I think he was a Sikh). He was confident and answered all the questions that I had without me even asking. He also respected Tina including her in the decision making process. Lynn had asked the ICU nurses about the doctor and they all said he was the best and that if they were in that position they would want him to do their surgery – and you know the nurses know best! The social worker also arrived early for the meeting to support me, his name is Gary and he has been fabulous as a liaison. After my meeting with the doctor, I consulted with Gary and talked things over with Lynn.

Lynn told Mark to take me to the Self-Realization Fellowship grounds across the street, since I had about an hour before I could go back in to see Tina. It has a beautiful meditation garden. Years ago another one of my directors who directed a few of my plays, Jose Garcia, mentioned a book to read, "Autobiography of a Yogi" and this meditation place is one of Yogananda’s temple grounds and dates back to the 1920’s. It is a very serene place right on Sunset Blvd. There Mark and I got caught up on the past few years and I felt ready to go and sign the consent for my sister. The Social Worker told me to include Tina in all the decisions as much as possible. I asked Tina one more time and she blinked “Yes”.

June, 24, Saturday. Tina was taken to the operating room at 8am and was supposed to be back at 1:00. I was scared when she wasn't back in the room at 1:00 from the recovery room. I freaked out and started crying uncontrollably when I got to my friend Diane's house (she was going to drive me to the hosptial). Diane's son saw me crying as I walked up to the house and ended up holding me like I held him when he was a baby. It is so hard not to get scared. Tina was back in her room by 2:30. She looked pretty good at 4:00 when I saw her, but she was high on morphine for a couple of days. The nurse warned me on the phone that she was back on the ventilator because of the surgery, but on Sunday she was already just on oxygen and as of yesterday 24 hours breathing on her own. Also on Saturday she moved her big toe!

June 26: She looked good and was more alert and on vicodin instead of morphine. The doctor called me Tuesday, 6/27 morning and he said that the cat scan showed everything looked good. He said there was minimal blood. He also said that when she was on the operating table that turned her body over so that they could do the surgery, he examined for bedsores and there were none! He seemed surprised. This week they will change her feeding tube to her stomach and their goal is to put the voicebox or whatever it is called for the trach so she may be able to speak. Then they want to transfer her to a long term care facility. I heard Rancho Los Amigos in Downey is supposed to be great for rehab. The doctors are working on a plan for her long term care.

June 27: Tina looked pretty good. I think she needed the surgery. I burned some of her CD's for her entertainment and I played her "Dirty Dancing" CD - she rolls her eyes when I sing to her, (I also heard she rolled her eyes when Charlene’s dad, Dennis sang to her – she’s just as bad as Simon from American Idol!) but when Derek sang "In the Still of the Night" she seemed happy and calmed by his voice.


Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts!

Love,

Linda

June 20-21 Updates

Hello everyone,

Honestly, Tina hasn't looked too good the past few days. She's tired breathing on her own and with physical therapy. I found out she had pneumonia so they didn't change her feeding tubes to her stomach.

Yesterday morning I received a call from a neurosurgeon who was called in on her case. What he told me came as a big blow, I was at Starbucks and just broke down crying hysterically in my car in the parking lot. She is in a neck brace right now and he said that the impact of the accident tore the ligaments in her neck, without the brace her head wouldn't stay on her neck. He wants to do surgery maybe this weekend or next week to put in some rods and screws to hold her neck up. She would only be able to move her neck about 10 degrees to the left or right, but I think he said up and down would be ok and she would never be able to drive because she would not be able to move her neck enough. He said that with the pneumonia he has to wait to do the surgery, if I give consent. The neurosurgeon told me to talk to my family about this surgery and that he will have a sit down meeting with me before I make a decision.

She had been making progress, so this news hit me hard.

Laster yesterday afternoon I got a call from a friend, Doris McCloskey whose son, Vincent & roomate, Christina were in a terrible accident seven years ago. The young woman, Christina's neck was broken and she has rods and screws, she can't drive, she was also in a coma for 2 months. I met her in Ireland about 4 years ago & I couldn't tell Christina and Vincent had been in an accident - they were both running around like healthy young 20 somethings - Doris said they both had long recovery.

Last night Tina moved her mouth like she's trying to speak.


Linda

June 9-17 Updates

Hi everyone,

Friday, June 9th: Tina was transferred to Kaiser Sunset

Wednesday, June 14th: This evening I spoke to the physician and she said they did an MRI on Tina's brain stem and it shows either an infarction (an area of tissue that has recently died as a result of sudden loss of blood supply, for example blockage to an artery by a clot) or a bruise. They are looking at it as a bruise.

Earlier that day the doctor and physical therapist worked with Tina and she did move her toes and fingers a little bit. Tina was tired when we saw her, but the doctor asked her to try move her toes and I saw her big toe move a wee bit, about less than an eighth of an inch. The doctor tired the other fingers and toes and I could see on Tina's face that she was trying her hardest and it took all her strength, but she couldn’t move them at that time. The doctor said that Tina had worked hard and was tired. I also found out that Tina also has numerous rib fractures.

They had her on a ventilator that she gives the first part of the breath and then the machine picks up after that. They are going to try to wean her off the vent, so every day they will have her breathe on her own a little more. Since Tina is stable and if they can wean her off the ventilator the doctor wants to transfer her to a long term care facility. She said that the chances of Tina getting a respiratory infection are much more in an acute hospital setting.

Thursday, June 15th was the worst for me. I had to work and I had to deal with phone calls to & from the detective, doctors, nurses, lawyer, insurance, and the Kaiser social worker. I had a meltdown on the way home. I’m not a real quick decision maker, I like to ponder things a bit. In the last 19 days I’ve had to make split second decisions and give consent for Tina’s treatment and many of the medical procedures came with a “high risk” warning. All I can do is give consent because I’m not the medical expert, I have to have total trust in her health care providers.

Tina’s main doctor is so wonderful, she is a beautiful, young blonde, with curly hair, she looks like an angel. She calls me, she tells the staff when I come in to page her so she can talk to me. When the detective called her for info. on Tina for the preliminary trial, he called me and left a message that the doctor was so kind. And that is how I feel about her. The social worker also told me that Tina’s doctor has been going above and beyond the call of duty for Tina. He also told me that if even months down the road, if I have a question to call him and perhaps he can steer me in the right direction. Kaiser has a general bad reputation, but every doctor, nurse, social worker, etc. that I’ve dealt with is so confident, kind and caring. They even ask how I’m doing. It also helps that Guy Mitchell’s cousin Lynn has worked at Kaiser Sunset for 32 years and knows a lot of people. She met us the night after Tina was transferred and told everyone to treat us like family, that we were her family. So cousin Lynn is another angel on our side.

The doctor told me to bring in a CD player for her because she knows Tina is probably bored. Sometimes they put on the TV and they put it on the Spanish channel! I know Tina will have something to wisecrack about that when she can talk. And a few times, I told Lisa that I notice Tina’s hand is in a position that it looks like she is flipping me off, so I just rearrange her hand and massage it.

A discharge planner called with a name of a long term care facility here in LB for me to check out. She said that was the only one near by, the alternative is Los Angeles.

Friday, June 17: There was a preliminary trial for the guy. Tina’s best friend Charlene drove me down. I was so relieved that I didn’t have to go by myself. The courthouse was in LA and it was the same courthouse where the three month trial for my brother’s murderer was held. The detective said it would be good for me to put a face to Tina’s case and meet the DA.

When we got there the 3rd floor was packed with cops in uniform and plain clothes. The guy had made bail and he was on a bench across from us, he didn’t look our way. But, I think it was his mother and some other woman they looked at Charlene and me and laughed and kind of mad dogged us. It took every ounce of my being not to get up and smash their faces in. I had to tell my self, Linda, you’d better behave! If I acted upon my gut feeling, all those hundreds of police officers would not have been able to pull me off those ignorant women. They looked at us as if we were the cause for their problems! At my brother’s murder trial, we were dealing with gang members and their families and they didn’t even do that to us. And during the investigation his family was hiding him out and being evasive to the police and even confronting the police when they realized they were being followed. The only one who talked was his girlfriend’s mother.

I saw the witness, the young woman who called 911. If she hadn’t called 911, Tina would not have made it to the hospital. I wanted to hug and thank her for cooperating with the investigation, but the detective advised against it at this time.

At the scene of the accident the witness said the driver’s hair was braided in wearing corn rows and a beard and because it was 4:30 in the morning she thought he was African American because of his dark skin.

She could not positively ID the guy when shown a 6 pack photo line up. During the prelim, I understood why. The guy had left his car at the scene and the police got his name from the registration. He had been booked in 2003 and they had a booking photo. The photo was washed out making his skin look lighter. But she positively ID’d him in court, but then again he was in the defendant’s chair. He still had long hair, in a pony tail, so he could have had corn rows 2 weeks ago.

The morning of the accident Tina had the green light and the guy in a Toyota 4 Runner ran the redlight speeding and broadsided Tina’s Jetta. At the scene of the accident, the witness got out of her car and the guy was out of his SUV and she asked him if he was ok. He didn’t answer. She went to Tina’s car and Tina was unconscious. She ran to her car to get her cell phone to call 911. She went back to the guy and he was filling his backpack up with stuff. She asked if he was ok again. He said, “what’s your name?” She didn’t tell him. In court the Judge had him say, “what’s your name?” and the witness positively ID’d his voice.

The detective testified that when he booked the guy he took him in a back room and photographed his naked body. Photos were submitted as evidence. He had numerous lacerations and a seatbelt burn on his chest. Even with that it was circumstantial evidence. His attorney motioned for dismissal because of the circumstantial evidence. But the Judge overruled it. He will be arraigned in two weeks. Because of Tina’s severe injuries it was a felony. When I asked the detective he said that he thought the sentence was 5 years, but that the guy could plea bargain and get a lesser sentence.

After court Charlene and I then went to visit Tina. I asked Tina if she remembered how the accident happened. Sometimes I can’t decipher her 1 Blink for no and 2 Blinks for yes, but Charlene and I agreed that she replied with a No blink. Maybe that is good that she doesn’t remember and maybe that is why her face seems so sweet during this whole ordeal. The nurse told me that they were going to take Tina off the ventilator and try to have her breathe with oxygen for two hours at 5 pm.

Saturday, June 17th: I woke up with a dream that Tina walked into a room and saw me reading and said in her sarcastic voice, “Hey, what are you doing, butthead?”

The nurse, Michael, told me that Tina had done ok breathing on her own for those two hours and that they kept her on oxygen and at 5:00 pm she would have been breathing on her own for 24 hours! I’m so stupid or overwhelmed that I didn’t realize that the ventilator was her total life support. She was very tired, but she is working hard after not breathing on her own for 18 days.

Tina’s good friend Jackie from Ralphs was visiting, with her husband, daughter and sister. They all said Tina is like a sister to them. Jackie said that some of Tina’s old bakery customers have heard about Tina and they are coming in for updates on her condition.

It is these little bits of good news that help with keeping hope. So much has happened to Tina’s body in the past 19 days and she is progressing little by little. Nothing has gotten worse. Yesterday her cheeks were rosy. I blow her kisses and she puckers and tries to blew me one too.

This morning I heard a song, “You Sexy Thing” and it reminds me of Tina. When she was 5 years old that was her favorite song. Here are some of the lyrics: “I believe in miracles, Where you from, You sexy thing, I believe in miracles, Since you came along, You sexy thing”.

Tomorrow, Monday, June 19th they are going to change her feeding tube straight to her stomach, so she'll be more comfortable and perhaps will breathe better with the feeding tube out of her nose. And they talked about putting some device in the tracheotomy area so that Tina’s may try to speak a few words.

My baby sister was a miracle when she came into our family’s life and with all your prayers and good thoughts her healthy recovery will be another miracle!

Love,
Linda

Kathy Kamka's Blog

Dear Tina:
Wish I were there to just sit with you every day. I have been praying for you and have written a prayer for you and have put it on the fridge so I see it and say it everyday and often. Little girl you are truly loved by so many people. You have touched so many lives with all the people you have worked with and who have met you where ever you go. I always tried to give you good advice whenever you asked I always have tried to be there for you when I could, and I am so sorry I am not there with you right now.

This is from Eileen Caddy:
"All you need is deep within you waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All you have to do is be still and take time to seek for what is within and you will surely find it."

I have faith that Tina will fight to get back on her feet, with all her family friends and God's grace. Keep up the good job you are doing Linda. I know Tina appreciates all you are doing.

Much Love,
Kathy Kamka
AKA Granny Goose

I'm chanting for Tina in Japan

I'm playing music in Japan now and I'm chanting for Tina's quick recovery.

Be strong,
Timothy Harada-VanCampen

P.S. My parents in San Diego, Teri VanCampen and Hiel VanCampen, are also chanting for her recovery.

June 6-9 Updates

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your support and letting me share Tina's situation with you.

Tues., June 6: Tina had a tracheotomy, feeding tubes changed and a filter put in to prevent blood clots. Suprisingly she is looking pretty good for all she's been through in one week. Her lips were swollen because of that ventilator contraption she had in her mouth, but she looks more comfortable.

Wed., June 7: A doctor called and they will transfer her to Kaiser. Her heart has remained stable, nothing has gotten worse with her aorta. The doctor said that the tear was in the inside layer of the aorta, in the intima (?), if it was on the outside, she would not have survived. After a week of cat scans, there was no change and her blood pressure has remained stable. Regarding the problem with the bleeding in her brain stem: it is no longer bleeding, but she has clots from the bleeding. The doctor said she could have "locked in syndrome", she feels pain, communicates with her eyes but can't move arms, nor legs and she can't breathe on her own. It is like her neurons are not firing properly. She said it could get better in a few months, a year or she may be this was the rest of her life. I've seen when they have taken blood samples from her finger that she squeezes her eyes shut, so I know she feels it. She is more expressive with her face now that she's had the tracheotomy. Last night her nurse said Tina looks so young he thought he had the wrong chart, she is 35 and he said she looks like she is 19 and even in her situation, her personality comes through, everyone remarks on how sweet she is. Deep down inside I don't feel she will stay this way. I don't think that I am trying to convince myself to be hopeful, I just don't feel she will remain this way. I can't give up my hope, her being unable to move, nor breathe on her own is NOT AN OPTION! In the past 10 years, when I have been faced with a troubling situation I have used a concept from a book by Gary Zukav, "Seat of the Soul", he says, we choose how we learn our life lessons, do we choose to learn from fear and doubt, which most of us do, which creates more fear and doubt, or do we choose to learn from love and wisdom. When I have chosen love and wisdom, my path has been cleared for swift resolution. A friend of mine, Keith helped me change my mind as I was going into some negative thinking. I told him that whenever I think of the moment when I win my Academy Award (I'm a playwright, fledgling filmmaker, so I have that dream), when I win, Tina is always in the audience giving me a standing ovation and clapping. He told me that he had already written his acceptance speech, so that inspired me to write mine this morning. When I first went through divorce, another friend, Jean Fitting told me to write a five year journal, what I wanted my life to be like. Well, when I came upon that journal, five years later, the strongest intentions that I had had been realized. What I've already learned from this is that Tina is uniting people, people from all backgrounds and religions are praying and sending her loving energy. There is truly more goodness in this world.

Fri.,June 9th: Just before awaking yesterday, June 8th I had a dream. In the dream I walked into Tina's hospital room and she was sitting up and she said, "Linda what is all this?" as she used her left arm and pointed to all the machines that are in her room. This was just a dream but it is also hope. Tina was supposed to be moved to Kaiser yesterday, but Kaiser did not have a room available for her. This morning I received an email from my future son-in-law, Kevin, he started researching "Locked in syndrome" - there was a website by a guy who had the same thing Tina is experiencing and he overcame it. This site gives us more hope: http://locked-in-syndrome.com/index.html

Thank you so much for your prayers and good wishes for Tina's healing and full recovery.
Linda

A Message to Linda

With permission from Yolie, the HR Director at Bristol Farms where Tina works, we are posting her e-mail response to Linda's e-mail updates:

Dear Linda,
I read this letter and my heart aches for the both of you - Tina for her
battered body and spirits and you for the agony you must be in as you watch
her suffer.

I wanted to let you know that my daughter is a missionary in Thailand; she
lives at a Christian boarding house with approximately 60 children. They
are all praying for Tina and for your family -- let me tell you, the prayers
from those sweet children are powerful!

We will continue to call on the name of the LORD.

Yolie

Andrea Trueman's Blog

Hey Girl,

I cherished each time I was able to give you a ride to a meeting or to work.Although I haven't seen you in a long time, I always think about you each time drive by a Ralph's grocery store. I'm praying for a speedy and effortless recovery for you. You have such protection around you. Your big sis is truly amazing and she will make sure you get the best treatment.

Love,
Andrea Trueman

Kimberly Mitchell's Blog

Tina:  I just want you to know that all the ladies in
Linda's hula classes are going to be getting together
every Monday to chant for your speedy and EFFORTLESS
recovery.  I have been keeping people up-to-date on
your status and even my friends that don't really know
you are asking about you every time I see them.
Please know that we all are standing behind you, like
your very own shoten zenjin protecting you until you
can do it yourself.  We love you!!

Kisses,
Kimberly Mitchell

Fourth Update

June 5, 2006

I’m dealing with criminal, legal, financial and medical decisions for Tina. My friend Diane drove me up to LA today and I really appreciate her being my chauffeur and my second pair of ears. I had to go to the police station and talk to the detective, LAPD has been so wonderful. I went to the tow yard to see the car and take pictures. A few tow truck drivers told me they would send a prayer for Tina. Looking at the car overwhelmed me and Diane. It is amazing that my sister is alive!!! They had to cut the roof off the car to get her out. I was also able to get photos of his car. On Saturday, Lisa, Jessie, Kevin and I went to the scene of the accident and in the merdian there was still glass and little parts of Tina's Jetta by the curb.

We went to the hospital and the nurse said I came at a perfect time because one of her trauma doctors wanted to talk to me. The next moment Tina’s Social Worker walked in and as I waited a few moments for the doctor meet me, Tina’s best friend Charlene rushes in and says, shocked to see me, “Linda, I came in the day because I thought you would come tonight!” I really needed Charlene there and she appeared in perfect timing - Charlene works in the medical field and I needed her calmness, confidence and knowledge at that time. I told the Doctor that I needed him to take the time to sit down with me in a conference room with no interruptions. He complied. My friend Eugenia (an ICU nurse) had given me a list of questions. The Social Worker asked the doctor the questions from the list and I asked him to draw me a picture of the problem with the aorta and he did. He said her cardiac surgeon checks on her every day and that his is the best aorta specialist. He said Kaiser wants her but they won’t release her. They are monitoring the aorta and last resort would be a surgery to replace that part of her aorta. They are keeping an eye on her so that the clots from the tears don’t create blockage elsewhere.

Today, while I visited her she looked at me with those big beautiful brown eyes and locked eyes with mine, it was so intense that I had to leave the room to cry. I’ve been strong while I visit, but that look she gave me was just too much.

FYI - In the afternoon I spoke with an attorney and hired him on retainer - but this information I choose not share at this time.

Tonight as soon as I walked in to her room the neurologist walked in. I asked him to show me what is going on with her brain and he pulled up the cat scan for us to see. He said the bleeding has stopped and it was very little but that it is probably why she doesn’t respond to stimulation to her arms nor her legs. In fact he checked her out while we were there. I marvel at the timing because this past week it has been so hard to get any information, everything I'm learning is coming piecemeal.

Tomorrow, June 6, at 2:00pm she will have surgery for a tracheostomy (or is it a tracheotomy) so she won’t have the tube down her throat and she will be a little more comfortable. At 4:00 she will have another procedure for a different feeding tube. She won’t be able to talk, but she will be more comfortable. He said that she can’t talk while she is breathing through the trach/ventilator, but that sometime in the future she may be able to talk. Her Trauma doctor said that right now the problems are the aorta and the neuro.

People are praying in Morocco, Taiwan, Japan, Australia and all over the US for my baby sis!
Sometimes when I cry it is because so many people, even strangers are sending their love for Tina. So please continue to think of her with your very best happy thoughts. I pray and my intention is that all her caretakers EFFORTLESSLY are guided to do the right thing, that Tina heals EFFORTLESSLY.

Love,

Linda

Third Update

June 4, 2006

Hi everyone,

This morning I received a call from the hospital, they wanted to operate to repair Tina's fractured humerus (the long bone in the upper arm). I gave permission because it was just bandaged and I could see blood seeping through the bandage. Surgery was scheduled for Friday, but at the last minute they cancelled due to high blood pressure. I feel it was another “timing” factor because I put the word out Sunday and it just so happens that Buddhists were chanting for her in LB and at my Uncle Charlie's church, Christians in North Carolina were praying for her simultaneously during the surgery.

I chanted like crazy during the surgery. It is hard, no matter how positive I try to be, those damn little negative thoughts come in. But I felt, how can her body heal with this leaking of blood and energy in her arm, so it was high risk but the surgery went well! That night she was a little out of it, but she seemed more stable.

The nurse asked me, "Is she always so sweet?" I said, "sometimes she's hell on wheels. But, yeah, a vast majority of the time she is the sweetest person you will ever meet." Then she thanked me and my family for being humble and kind to the nurses. She said, "We don't get many families and nice as yours." I tell all her doctors and nurses when I meet them, "thank you for taking care of my sister and I trust that you are doing your best to care for her." I need these people on Tina's side.

I had been reading a book on quantum physics (yeah, I'm a nerd), the book is "The Field", and as many of you know I am an acupressurist and I have always believed in the body's ability to heal itself. I read the book up until the chapter before "Healing" and as you all were praying I had been reading on how quantum scientists have done research on how we are all connected, and how cells respond to frequencies or "good vibes". So that prayer, and even those who don't pray, but have good, positive intentions can heal even remotely and patients can be healed even if they don't know about the prayers/good intentions. Somehow something had lead me to read this book and be at that chapter at the precise time that I needed to have my views validated!

Kathy Delmar Blog

Tina,
I am so sorry to hear about your accident. My prayers,
good wishes and warm thoughts are sent your way. I'd
include a big hug, but that would probably be pretty
painful still. I do hope that you are improving every
day and that you are feeling better too.

Know that you have lots of family and friends pulling
for you and who are anxious for you to get back on
your feet. I'm sure that there are many back at work
who want that too. (for lots of reasons)

Sincerely,
Kathy Delmar

Susuico Family Blog

Thanks Lisa for giving us the opportunity to tell Tina how much she means to us.

HI TINA!!

I've known Tina for a long long time. I used to think that she was super cool and would always try to hang with her when we would go to the Delmar's for meetings. She made me laugh my ass off and introduced me to a lot of really "cool" music. I will never forget the time that she gave me her LL Cool J single. I played it a million times and everytime that I see it (I still have it in storage) I think of how cool I thought Tina was for giving me something so "precious." :-)

Then I didn't see her for a looooong time...I mean long like the next time was at my wedding when I was pregnant with Isabella. My wedding was a 24 hour shotgun wedding. We were scrambling the evening before to find an outfit, something old, new, borrowed, and blue, flowers, food, and finally the cake. Who was gonna make a wedding cake for 50+ people in like 8 hours notice...??? Tina. Tina stayed up that night and made the most beautiful wedding cake I had ever seen nor eaten. The evening of the wedding my husband Jay and I (and Bella in the belly) were seated in front of Tina's creation surrounded by all of our most precious friends and loved ones laughing, and crying, and shoving cake in each other's faces. I had never felt so indebted to Tina, nor was I more happy to see her shining face seated with her loving family. Believe it or not I was more grateful for the cake than the LL Cool J tape. Later that evening she joined my goofball Dad and our goofball family friends in a drunken slur of reciting lines and songs from the Godfather. She was definitely a good sport to amuse my Dad.

With this story comes A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE from the Susuico clan here in Hawaii. I am chanting for your speedy recovery everyday. Jay and Bella sit with me too. We just want you to know Tina, that you are such a gift. Hurry up. Love and miss you,

Stacey, Jay, and Isabella

Linda's Blog

I want to share how special my sister is to me and my life.

When I was 15 years old my mom, who was 35 at the time, was diagnosed by her doctor as having a very large fibroid tumor. She had another doctor’s appointment in August and “finally” the doctor took a pregnancy test. She was really pregnant with Tina. I remember one time I had to drive my mom for her prenatal visit and I sat in the waiting room and the nurse put on a “film strip” – yep back in the day we didn’t have VHS, nor DVD. It was a filmstrip on childbirth. I remember I got so grossed out with all the blood that I fainted. When mom came out, the nurse was reviving my wimpy ass. We had to take the bus home because I couldn’t drive.

My dad was on strike from his job at Continental Can Co. and when my mom went to the hospital they didn’t have the money to pay the hospital bill. I had been saving money from my part time job and I had $200.00. Tina’s hospital bill was, I think $175.00!!!! I don’t think my parents ever paid me back, so I would always joke that Tina is mine, I paid for her!

She was born November 21, 1970 and my dad named her Valentina. She changed all of our lives. My mom really had that beautiful pregnant glow and I remember on November 20th we were making dinner and all of a sudden my mom is standing there and I thought she peed but her water bag broke and I got hysterical, as I do with almost anything medically related, but somehow I managed to get a phone call to my dad at his nightshift job. That next morning, when dad came home to tell us we had a sister, I ran out the door and went up and down the street knocking on doors, “I have a sister, I have a sister!” I finally got the sister I had always wanted.

My brother Bobby had kind of been acting wild and in trouble, my mom and dad’s relationship was not great (but great enough to conceive Tina – must be that hot Latin blood). I had been raised with two boys and a dad who raised me like a boy, so I needed a sister. She and my mom came home from the hospital Thanksgiving Day and my brother Bobby who was 14 and I figured out how to make Thanksgiving dinner. Tina was our little Thanksgiving baby. Bobby stopped getting in trouble and we’d rush home everyday after school to be with the baby. My mom and dad were like honeymooners again. Tina was a second chance for our family. She was such a beautiful baby with the longest eyes lashes and big brown eyes. I used to sew clothes for her because I had wanted to be a clothing designer, so I’d create patterns for her. For her first Halloween I made her a little Pebbles outfit like one that my Pebbles doll wore. I borrowed the little bone the doll had in her hair and put it on Tina’s little ponytail. Tina was my living doll. I still have a few little outfits that I made her. One that we laugh about now is a little muumuu. My mom and dad were going to a luau and I made my mom a muumuu and from the scraps I made Tina a little “Mini Me MuuMuu” so she was dressed like my mom. And from an old faux fur coat I made her a little fur coat with no pattern – I was a pretty damn good seamstress.

One time when she was about 3, she was sitting in a little corner pretending to smoke an invisible cigarette. She was mimicking my dad and it was so cute that I would buy her candy cigarettes – good thing that didn’t influence her to take up smoking.

I remember one time my mom got mad at my dad because he never let Tina walk, he was always carrying her around and she was about 4 at the time. She said, “Bobby (my dad), let her stand on her own two feet, I swear you do everything for her she doesn’t even know how to open a door!” And it was true, she had never opened a door for herself. Earlier that day my mom had told her to go out and play in the backyard and when mom asked “Mi’ja, why are you just standing by the door?” Tina said in her 4 year old voice, “I don’t know how to open it.” We did everything for her. But she was never spoiled. And we never felt jealous of all the attention my dad gave her – how could anyone feel jealous of Tina, when she came into our lives, there was just more love and family feeling and even financially things were better. She was an angelic child.

In March 1978, when Tina was 7 my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, he had his colon removed and that year Tina’s playground was the hospital lobby – she was too little to see my dad, they only allowed her to see him a few times. On December 20, 1978 my dad died of liver cancer and I tried my best to give Tina what my dad gave us – I would take her to the park, the beach, Disneyland, Magic Mountain. We were a very outdoorsy/active family and I made sure that she would have the same experiences that we had with our dad – but I could never replace dad.

After my dad died our mom was “bi-polar” (formerly called manic depression) and Tina had to be raised through her teen years with all the kooky things our mom did. And I would fight with my mom, for her to leave Tina with me and Bob. For a few years she lived with me and she was a big help, even as a kid, helping me with my babies. My kids are closer in age to Tina than I am to her. She is Jessie, Lisa and Derek’s older sister/aunt. Tina and I used to play “Midget toss” with the babies– we’d toss them back and forth between us – the kids loved it!

When Tina graduated High School my grandma died, a few years later our mother died after almost totally driving us nuts for 6 years. In 1997 our brother, Bobby was murdered. Every time I had to made funeral arrangements for a family member, my little sister was there with me, even as a small child. Our family is kind of morbid and when our mom died, Tina, Bobby and I started a tradition and drove our junk food junkie mom’s cremated ashes through Jack in the Box for our last meal with her – my daughter Jessie still remembers sitting in the back seat and me buckling my mom’s ashes with a seat belt. We drove my brother Bobby’s ashes to King Taco in East L.A.

Tina has experienced so much loss at such a young age. Her heart has been broken many, many times from so much loss. But for all her loss, she has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She absolutely loves kids and she is Auntie Tina to so many: Nathaniel, Jacob, Hannah, Stephanie, Desiree, Matt and Brandon, Sarah Hirsch, Jennifer Shinn, Eric Decker who calls her “Tauntie Tina” and more kids that I can’t even remember right now.

Those of you who know Tina well have been stung by her Scorpio tail - you know that she can be a sarcastic smart mouth, but she is lovable and a total crack up. I’m the older sister and many times she tries to boss me around and I let her. With my sister, me and the kids laugh so much we absolutely cry, cough and have to go pee. And she enjoys ganging up on me with the kids. Even as a small child she made an alliance with my ex-husband Bob and they loved to play practical jokes on me. Oh and she loves pillow fights. When things get boring, she always says, “Pillow fight!”

Tina didn’t drive until in her 20’s. When she got her first car, the white VW beetle, she was so incredibly excited to be driving around in that little ball. One time for Mother’s day she drove me to one of her favorite restaurants in Huntington Beach, a Mongolian wok place. She needed to stop at Ralph’s to get some cash. She had left the keys in the ignition and I told the kids, let’s play a joke on Tina – I moved the car. She came bebopping out of the market and then as if in slow motion, she lost her bop and started looking around – me and the kids were laughing so hard from her expression I couldn’t drive to pick her up and the car was shaking. She finally saw us and I was “Asshole”, “Stupid Asshole” all day long that Mother’s Day. I am laughing right now even as I write this – Tina is such a joy in my life – everyone should be so fortunate as I. I can’t wait for her to get me back, I can’t wait for one of her practical jokes. Bring it on, Tina!

Please think of Tina in all her sweetness and your happy memories with her.

Family Photos

Some family photos, taken by Joey, Tina's brother, Summer '05.

Tina & Joey

Tina & Jessie (niece)

Tina & Lisa (niece)

Tina & Derek (nephew)


The family

Second Update

Friday, June 2 @ 4:00 pm
An e-mail from Linda and Lisa

Subject: My sister Tina - Info. from LAPD

(The first part is from Lisa)
Hello again,

Below is an e-mail from my mom with all the information that she's received from the LAPD about the guy who caused the accident. She wrote it on Fri. and I'm sorry it's taken me a while to send this out to you all, it's been a long week.
Some more recent updates on Tina's conditions: Each time we visit, she seems to get better. Her cheeks were rosy on Thursday and the small cuts on her face seem to decrease each day. This morning she went in for surgery on her broken arm. It was a very high-risk surgery because they found a blood clot in her aorta and up until the minute they put her under they weren't sure if they would be able to go through with it. But her blood pressure was stabilized and the surgery was success. Today my mom and a close friend went to visit her and my mom said that her blood pressure has been stable all day which is really great news.
She has continued to be very alert when we come to visit. She recognizes all of us and when her godparents came to visit yesterday (whom she hadn't seen in years) she got very excited and was tearful.
There are so many people who are praying for her, and it is so touching to know that. This has been such a hard time for my family, and I absolutely appreciate each and every one of you for your good thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for my Auntie Tina, for a speedy and full recovery. We know that she's got a long road ahead of her, but we are hopeful and see nothing but a positive ending to this tragedy.
We have started a blog for my aunt to post things from all the people that love her so that she can see for her own eyes all of the love that is being sent her way when she is better. I will send a link to the blog for you all to see by tomorrow.

Love you all,
Lisa


From: "Linda D." onewildwahine@hotmail.com
Subject: My sister Tina - Info. from LAPD
Date: Fri, 02 Jun 2006 16:03:29 -0700

Thursday I spoke with the Traffic Detective. He said there was one witness, a 20 year old woman who was behind Tina. They got the guy’s photo from his driver’s license because they had his registration. They did a photo line up, but she couldn’t identify him because it was dark and there was a light behind his head. So she wasn’t a reliable witness, but if she hadn’t called 911, Tina would have died.

The police questioned the guy’s family but they were evasive. They had plain clothes and black and white police cars following all the members of the family, but he said they would go around in circles because they knew they were being followed. They contacted the girlfriend’s family and the mother said that he had called the girlfriend to pick him up.

There was a restaurant menu in his car so they took the photo id to the restaurant and they ID’d him as working there. He is 27 years old. The detective also found a recent letter from his insurance and it looks like the insurance is ok.

Then he said on Wed. he received a call from an attorney who said this guy was going to turn himself in but he wasn’t going to talk. At the police station the detective booked him even though he didn’t have a witness and didn’t have a good case, then he took the guy to the back room and stripped him and took photos of his body from head to toe and he did find evidence of injuries. He wrote up a report and took it to the District Attorney’s office. He said the case is not that strong. He is in jail now and will be for the next month, his trial will be in about a month.

I feel the LAPD did their best and I appreciate all their efforts.

I’m sorry I’m not receiving the phone calls but I have a lot of people to deal with medical and businesswise on Tina’s behalf and frankly I’m tired of talking, answering questions and explaining everything over and over. Those of you who know what a chatterbox I am, well I’m kind of changing my ways (temporarily).

Oh yeah, Tina’s cheeks were rosy last night when we saw her.

Love and thanks for all the prayers and good wishes.

Linda

First Update

Friday June 2 @ 7:00 am
An e-mail from Linda

Subject: My sister Tina's condition

Hello everyone,

From the bottom of my heart I'd like to thank everyone for all your prayers and good thoughts for Tina's quick recovery. In one day (Wed. evening) there was already visible improvement, last night (thurs) she was still stable. Some of you may be hearing about her accident for the first time in this email - honestly right now I can't even think of who of you may have met her but I need your prayers and good thoughts too.

The only visitors I am allowing are my children, my brother and her long time best friend Charlene Polar and her mom and dad, Kathy & Robert Flippen. Please do not call the hospital, I am the only spokesperson for Tina.

I have been swamped with telephone calls and voicemail messages so I'm going to update everyone by email from now on and a few people by telephone. I need to leave my phone line open for the doctors and nurses.

I may not explain everything properly so here is the gist, please bear with me.

Tina was in a car accident on Monday, May 29th at 4:30 am. She was on her way to work at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills. She works in the Bakery Dept. so she begins work very early. According to the Police Report, she was exiting at the Venice Blvd. (she did have her seat belt on) when another driver in a Toyota 4 Runner, ran a red light, speeding and broadsided her Jetta. He got out of the car and ran away, but left the car & cellphone , which are in custody, so the police are looking for him.

Because Tina didn't have her cell phone on her, nor did she have any emergency #'s on her, I didn't find out about it until 9pm the next day. So she was all by herself for two days. Which makes me tremendously sad. When we finally got there her blood pressure kept going up and tears rolled down her face.

Tina had her diapghram and spleen ruptured (they have been repaired). She is on a ventillator to help her breathe while her diapghram is healing.

A fractured left arm, from the shouler to the elbow (which, when she is stable they want to perform surgery to put in a plate and a screw so it will heal properly - in a regular cast it would mend crooked because she will be lying down for so long).

There is bleeding in her brain, deep inside so they can't operate, but her ICU physician says that this can heal on its own and it may be what is causing her left eye to cross now and then and why she doesn't respond to stimulation on her legs and arms. They really don't know why she is not responding to leg/arm stimulation.

He said there is a problem with her aorta (heart) and they may have to have surgery to put in a stint. Right now the most important thing is her heart, and they are having lots of consultations on what to do.

I'll paraphrase what the ICU doctor told me Wed. night, "she has a cardiac surgeon, a neurosurgeon, a trauma team of doctors and and ICU doctor, what she has been through, most people would not have made it to the hospital, she's a real fighter. She is in very, very critical condition."

Last night (Wed.) we saw improvement. She had a lot of small cuts on her face and last night there were only a few. Her eye that was crossing wasn't doing it so much last night. Right now any improvment is promising. She responds by blinking her eyes and the nurse said, that she has been responsive from the beginning. Last night though, I think she was tired of blinking and I couldn't tell a yes from a no. But I told her that me and Derek and Lisa were going to take care of her and that we would be her slaves so she should start thinking about how she wants to boss us around and she raised her right eyebrow as if she was saying, "Yeah, Right!". Me, Lisa, Derek, Kevin and my brother Joe were there and we couldn't help but to laugh out loud. She still has her wonderful sense of humor.

Derek said to visualize that she was wolverine from XMen that she will regenerate herself. And Lisa noticed last night that Cedars Sinai Hospital is in the "Miracle Mile".

Deep down I really feel she will recover. I don't sense permanent problems with her inability to move her arms and legs.

I absolutely feel that your prayers and your good health and loving thoughts are what she needs right now. Please, think about her with all those good memories of what a fun loving person she is. Please think of her in health and fully recovered. I am overwhelmed with all the people who are praying for her and us right now and I feel such appreciation for all the love.

In my Buddhist tradition there is a phrase which translated means "turning poison into medicine". Those of you who know me, know that I am a master at this and we will win over this situation as well. I feel this is a blessing for a new life for Tina and a deeper level of loving each other between all of us in my family.

Late yesterday afternoon I spoke to the hospital social worker and she said that Tina's insurance is Kaiser and they want her moved. But Cedars can't move her until she is stable. Please pray that she gets the proper treatment for her heart and brain at Cedars Sinai before she is moved to Kaiser.

In another email I will tell what I heard from the traffic Detective yesterday afternoon.

Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who knows Tina or our family.

Once again, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

Linda

Welcome

We know that Tina's going to kick our butts when she sees that we named this blog "Everybody Loves Tina". We're her family and it's our job to embarrass her, right? Right. But who could possibly disagree with it? We have been overwhelmed with the love from so many people out there and we wanted to have a place to keep it all for her to see when she is better.

If you'd like to post something, please e-mail Lisa, Tina's niece, at: lisaofthesea@hotmail.com
I'm sorry you won't be able to post things on your own, but everyone would have to be a registered member on blogger.com and we figured it would be easier this way for all of you.

We will also be posting updates on Tina's condition, so remember to check back often!

Thanks for all of your prayers and thanks for visiting!



Lisa (niece), Linda (sister), Jessie (niece) & Tina