Aug. 26-27 Updates (kind of funny)

Hi everyone,

I just had to tell y'all the latest.

Sat 08/26: I'm going to do a little name dropping. Saturday night I went to one of my Buddhist meetings and I met a beautiful woman named Gigi. She turned out to be Herbie Hancock, the jazz pianist's wife (Herbie belongs to the same Buddhist organization that I do - but for any fans out there, I don't know him). Gigi heard me talking about Tina's accident and when I told her that Tina was on her way to work at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills, she said, "I shop there." I described Tina and she said, "I know your sister." Gigi said, "I'm going to tell everyone at Bristol that I met you and that I know your sister." She also said she will pray for Tina.

When I went to visit Tina that night, I told her I met Gigi and that Gigi said she knows her she mouthed, "Wow!"

When Tina started working at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills she used to call me with her star sightings of celebrities that she waited on as customers: Martin Short, Johnny Depp (I screamed), Samuel L. Jackson, the sexy grandma from "Who's the Boss", Katherine Helmond, who told Tina, "You know who I am, don't you?" Tina said, "Yes". and the woman went and gave Tina a big hug and also the woman from Frazier - the character with the stick up her butt, she saw her too.

Sunday 08/27: I went to visit Tina in the afternoon and as I was driving up so was Derek and his friend Emily and a few minutes later Lisa and Kevin showed up too! Without even planning it, the whole family ended up at the hospital.

As some of you know my son Derek is an actor and a character in his own right and he is always on! Derek goes in and starts teasing Tina and he wouldn't let up. Without even being able to speak Tina gave Derek a piece of her mind by silently mouthing off to him and making faces. Then when Lisa showed up they both teamed up on Tina, like they always do. But Tina held her own with those two. When she would mouth off, the kids would say, "Mom, what did she say?", then I'd go through the alphabet and spell out her insults. Tina even noticed Kevin lost a little weight since being married and she spelled out, "Don't you feed him?" Even my new son-in-law Kevin got in on the teasing action. It was just like old times when we are all together, a lot of teasing and joking and belly laughs.

Tina scared Lisa with that sound she makes on her ventilator sometimes. So I told the kids how when the sound startles me, Tina does it again on purpose! I can't remember which one of the kids said it but someone said the noise she makes sounds like a dragon. Then the kids where saying, "Tina make that dragon sound." Then Tina would make the sound again and she had all five us cracking up so loud. I laughed so much that I had phlegm and I think I should have been suctioned!!! With her sense of humor, Tina is still that wonderful, lovable Tina!!!

I've been going in everyday to massage her back because it makes her feel good. I get lotion and put my hand and arm as far down as I can on her back and she is loves it and when I'm done she yawns and is in the zone so I know it really relaxes her. It gives me hope because she does feel (yes Stacey Mitchell Suisuico, when Tina spelled "my butt", when she wanted to be moved, it does mean she feels! The brian stem injury she has is called Locked In Syndrome and she still feels pain but is unable to use her motor functions.

I spoke with my daughter Jessie, who lives in San Francisco yesterday and we were talking our dual roles with each other. Tina is my sister and also like my daughter, I'm 15 years older than her, and that Tina loves Jessie, Lisa and Derek so much that she is their sister-aunt. Tina is only 12 years older than Jess. Tina just lights up when my kids visit her.

These past few days I have a lot more hope for Tina's eventual recovery.

I get so many emails that I can't answer all, but I really appreciate all your loving thoughts & wishes.

If you can't visit, send me an email and I will read it to her.

I recently made a Medical Break Through: In the past 3 months I discovered the cure for allergies. Since Tina's accident, I no longer have allergies nor headaches due to allergy symptoms. The cure: crying, just cry whenever you feel like it - it really works!


Linda

August 25 Update

Aloha (I’ve been performing a lot of hula lately - it is that luau season),

From the bottom of my heart, I really want to thank all of you who visit Tina. The staff says she has the most visitors! She has nothing else to do, so your smiling faces and chit chat are her entertainment and her connection to the rest of the world. Remember, please sign in, so I will know who visits and it gives me something to talk about with her - thanks. It must be absolute hell to be in Tina’s position, but Tina maintains her sweet and graceful composure.

I know I write a lot of details, but I want to show ways I and the staff communicate with her plus some of the funny moments & and update on the trial. If any of you visit you can take a cue from how I communicate and what some of her needs are. If she's distressed, please call someone to help her. Thanks!

8/17/06 8:00 pm I talked to Jonathan, Respiratory Tech. Tina was sleeping and I didn't want to disturb her. I asked him about the speaking valve, it is called a passi muir valve. He said they are waiting for her infection to heal. He said it only is on in the day time so the patient can rest at night. They changed her trach tubing and if a patient has an infection, the infection can stay in the tubing. I came to know Jonathan last week, when I interrupted his lunch to suction Tina. He had just eaten a hamburger with onions and we laughed at how Tina crinkled her nose with stinky faces when he was working on her. He said, "Tina if I have to come and wake you, I'm just going to breathe on you." She gets a kick out of stuff like that.

8/18/06 I went to donate blood and they wanted me to read a book the size of a magazine and I said "No thanks", I put it down and went to wait my turn. A nurse marched over to me and said I had to read it, I said, I didn't feel like reading it that I could pretend to read it if she didn't mind and besides, I don't remember having to read anything the last time, then I told her I've been through kind of a lot lately and having to read so much stuff, I'm not reading this book. I told her about Tina and the nurse said (not in a very compassionate way and kind of abruptly) that I was having too much anxiety lately and it wasn't a good idea for me to donate blood. I left and went and sat under a tree and cried my eyeballs out. I am not a cry baby, but with all this stuff, who knows when I’m going to blow! About 15 minutes later my friend Dave came out and said he was rejected too so he broke me out of my crying jag and we just cracked up, the two Red Cross Rejects. It probably really was in my best interest.

Later, when we went to visit Tina, I talked to the nursing supervisor, Joann and she said Tina has an appointment with the neurologist next week.

Talked to the Director of Respiratory, Dwayne, what a nice, positive guy. He said when they changed her trach, there was an infection with pus. They are waiting for Tina to get more volume in her breathing so she can speak with the passi muir valve. He thinks she's showing improvement with more facial muscles moving and he thinks it could move on down. She's very expressive and the staff is understanding her more now without the collar. And he said as I left his office, "Miracles do happen!"

8/19/06 There is this guy who works at the facility, I think he's like an orderly. He has this long weird Spanish name, so I call him "G", I had met him once before. He came in today and says to Tina in a thick Latin Lover, Spanish accent, "Come on Tina, let's go Salsa dancing. Come on Tina, get out of bed. Tina, why are you so lazy? You are always laying in bed." Tina was rolling here eyes and kind of having a little fun with his joking and didn't seem to be bothered by what he was saying. Then he said "Ok, I come in my Mercedes Benz and you can drive my car." At that point, I took him outside and told him about the hit and run accident in case he didn't know. We went back into the room and he continued, "Tina, let's go salsa dancing." Tina mouthed "Nooooo!" kind of laughing. Then I said, "She's not really big on Salsa dancing, even before, but I'll go with you!" Tina mouthed to me, "You're bad". Then G said, in his thick accent, "Oooh, I know we go out, and then you meet someone else and then you leave me." Tina was tickled with his joking - this stuff is her entertainment right now.

8/20/06 The orderlies saw me coming in and was happy I was there to translate. She was distressed, so I said, ok, let's start from your head, does your head hurt? your neck? She blinked yes. I'm thinking the back of her neck, because of the surgery, but didn't ask about her throat. the problem was that her trach tubbing was messed up. She didn't want me to leave. I'm all talked out so I just massaged her hands, then stroked her hair like when she was a baby and we just look at each other. I realized that Tina looks at me as a parent.

8/21/06 I had so many phone calls to make and paperwork on Tina's behalf.

When I visited, Tina was distressed and she spelled FAN & MOVE. The nurse and I realized that her fans were turned off, and they re-positioned her. She also spelled HEAR and I'm thinking that it was her heart, but she couldn't hear the radio.

8/23/06 I received phone calls from the D.A. and the Detective. The guy's attorney wants to plea bargain. There is another hearing this Friday, but the D.A. said nothing will happen. They are going for restitution. She said a restitution specialist will contact me. She does want my input on the case. The detective said that the guy most likely will not get prison time becuase he has no prior record. If he gets jail time, he will only serve 10% of the time due to jail overcrowding. The D.A. was hand picked for Tina's case and she has a good track record. He could get, his drivers license suspended or restricted, community service, but most of the emphasis will be on restitution. He asked me if Tina has had pneuomonia or any infections. I told him 3 times plus a bladder infection and that she was becoming resistant to the antibiotics. From his point of view, justice will not be anything close to what he deserves. I should ask the DA that in the event Tina's life is shortened by an infection or other complication that her organs might not tolerate that his sentence is enhanced in the future. He told me to make sure that I emphasize to the DA that she is not out of danger and after 3 months she is not much better. He told me to take pictures and blow them up and send to the D.A., they need to see what he did.

8/24/06 The nurse said that the neurologist recommended that Tina see the neurosurgeon who did the surgery and to put the cervical collar back on until then. Even though the medical director of the facility felt the CT scan looked good. The cervical collar will stay on for a few more weeks because the neurosurgeon is booked. Tina was uncomfortable and spelled MY BUTT. They had just moved her, but she still needed repositioning. When she was comfortable, she mouthed, "I love you". She is so appreciative of even the tiniest gesture toward her comfort. I explained the situation about the cervical collar to Tina and she mouthed "Shit". But she was still in a good mood.

August 17 Update

Hi everyone,

Tina was changed to room 7C at Country Villa, 17th & Grand in LB, 1 block west of Termino and just below PCH. If you go visit, when you go in to the facility go to the right - that is the sub-acute unit.

Thanks for your prayers and good wishes. I hope it is not too much that I put in all that I feel in this situation, but my feelings are the truth of what I'm experiencing. People have been wanting and update so here goes:

07.27.06 After I sent that last "Tina update " email, I broke down that night. I ran into an old friend, my contractor, Alfred and he didn't know about Tina so I told him. He was telling me about his 83 year old dad dying last year and having to make those life/death decisions and I told him, that is what I have to do right now. Alfred questioned himself, was he holding on to his dad when perhaps it was his dad's time to go and then I unexpectedly broke down crying (and I hate crying with people around) it was like a flood came out of me. Sometimes I get those thoughts that she may die and am I holding on too tight? But if that accident didn't kill her, why should pneumonia or a bedsore, ya know? I hadn't told anyone out loud what I feel sometimes, until talking to Alfred that night. Good thing Alfred hugged me and my face was in his chest cuz, it muffled my wails. I think I needed a hug. It is like those dark thoughts are my secret.

It was good for me to get out those pent up feelings before I went to see Tina. She looked pretty damn good and I feel her spirit was good. She was mouthing something to me and I was mimicking her trying to figure it out so I said, "Booty" you want some booty?" And she just looks at me like "oh my god you little shit, stop messing around". I can translate eye her language now, or just know what she would say. I was able to decipher that her friends Tim and Jack came to see her and they brought a TV for her and installed it on a high shelf. The nurses had mentioned a cop came to visit her and I remember her telling me Tim had a cop friend. He must have been hunky, cuz all the nurses were in a tizzy about "The Cop" - or is it just guys in uniform?

It is touch and go, but most of the time I'm feeling pretty good, I'm praying (I chant) so much. I remember this great Buddhist leader I had, Mr. Osaki, who used to tell me, "if it is that bad, what's next has gotta be that good." And so far he has been right on.

8/2/06: Even though Tina is more stable, I do get phone calls from the hospital that she has pneuomonia, again, or that now she has a bladder infection - and sometimes she is resistant to the antibiotics. I'm waiting for the results of the CT scan on her neck to see if they will remove the cervical collar. I'm scared - I don't want bad news. No bad news.

08/03/06: When Tina is distressed her eyes cross. I pray to be a healing presence. She spelled out, "Don't leave." I started to cry (the first time in front of her) and told her to be positive and she rolled her eyes. I said, "Don't you give up on you. I'm not going to give up on you! I need your help, Tina, we have to do this together." I started to tell her some "chisme" (gossip in Spanish) and I made her laugh. I told her "I love you" and she mouthed back, "I love you too." I told her, "Our love is what is going to get us through. We've been through hell and back with mom (her nuttiness) and our brother (his murder) and we will come out winning in an unexpected way."

08/04/06: Every time I visit these past few days Tina is tearful. Especially when a nurse suggested that Tina get psychiatric counseling. She burst out crying. I don't think she even remembers what happened, she didn't see it coming. So I told her that I will ask her periodically if she wants counseling and when she is ready they we will get someone to talk to her. I don't know what good it will do when all she can do is listen and can't express her feelings.

The nurse said some of the staff call her "Precious".

I realized that she has bad days and good days, just like us. If any of you visit please pray or center yourself before your visit. I pray for her to be calm, peaceful, disease free, pain free, infection free, phlegm free and sugar free (just kidding). In the last 10 days her morphine has been reduced to almost nothing. She never complains of pain and also her blood sugar was really good and one nurse told me she didn't even need insulin for 2 days.

8/5 & 6: On the weekends I go to my church's community center in LA, called the LA Friendship Center and I go and chant a few hours for Tina. It is kind of cool because before and afterwards I have been going on little adventures in LA. There are so many ethnic neighborhoods that I am discovering. It feels good not to hear people speak English - so many foreign tongues - that way I don't hear any bad news! I can't take a whole lot of bad news anymore. I've heard so many ugly things, so many terrible things that have happened to Tina and I see those images and I can't stop them, either when I'm awake or in a nightmare - it is getting better though - I just cringe when I see these images. I guess it is post traumatic stress, as if I had been in the accident, well actually I was broadsided with Tina's accident. I like feeling anonymous, no one knows me and no one knows what I'm going thru. I even went to visit the La Brea tarpits and that was cool.

08/11/06: The nursing supervisor told me that they took the cervical collar off this morning. When I asked about Tina getting that voice box thingy, she said that there was some irritation and they were going to wait and that Kaiser had put in a different kind of trachestomy than they have equipment for.

In the afternoon I had a 2 hour meeting with an estate attorney, his associate and the civil attorney (Tina's got attorney's up to my eyeballs) so that I can become Tina's conservator. Wish I didn't have to do this. I made them laugh when I said, "I just don't want bad news."

8/12/06: Tina looks good without the collar, more comfortable. I was afraid to see her without it. I combed her hair and a lot of it came out - those who know her know what beautiful hair she has, it made me sad to see the gobs come out in the comb. I straightened up her room, massaged her feet and hands - it is hard to see when they are just limp - I want to will them to move. I was moving a tube that was kind of stuck in a drawer and a little plastic fell down, like a clip or something, then Tina made a funny movement with her mouth and I bolted out the door to get the nurse, I thought I did something to the tube, just at that moment the respiratory tech came in and said, "oh she just yawned". What a nerd I am, and Tina rolled her eyes at my hysterics. Maybe I had bored her and she yawned.

8/17/06: Tina has had a pretty stable week. She's been in a pleasant mood, she seems more comfortable with her neck. I've noticed her swallow more, before she needed to be suctioned. And, I haven't gotten any phone calls from the hospital, whew!!!! All in all she looks pretty good, and she is resting, finally.

Mahalo,

Linda